Redacted

It's not fair. That's what I told God today. Not that it changes anything, But it's what I was feeling. Circumstances may be frustrating, But at least I'm complaining about it to the One who can do something. Thank goodness God is good at listening. 

I think today I should pay my bills.  That might be  the more important part of my evening.  Right now sitting in the rain at the park appears to be more important than most things. . I dug out some stuffed animals from my childhood last night.  I had forgotten about them but they are still in great condition.  I'll be finding homes for them. . Glad for the friendship of my college kids.  They make for interesting company. . Glad I could give my kids happy memories this weekend.  That makes me happy. . I know interesting people. That has to count for something doesn't it? . Some friends had their baby. Happy for them too. . Watching kids play " zombies " on the playground is slightly boring.

Had fun with the family today. Kicked the sidewalk. I think I broke my foot. We went swimming. Homemade ice cream. Brownies. Grilled. Yummy. Warm sunburns. Lots of energy.  Not me!

I hate this.

Keep hearing the Lionel Richie song "Hello" stuck in my head.  Not too bad of an option actually considering I like the song. . Yesterday was a one last aggravating experience. I didn't want to be the one to tell them, but perhaps it's best that I did. It came out well, God helping me, but what are the repercussions I'll be reaping?  . I'm praying for a lot of peace, joy and healing around here today. . The days are busy. They are full of things to consider and do. Something more than I can see right now being so focused on the immediate, but it is back there in my brain processing I'm sure. . Interpretation of what is said vs what is heard can be a BIG problem. Frustrating. Confusing. Etc. Never mind the good intentions behind the words,  sometimes it still hurts. And yet it's usually just in our thoughts.  Bizarre people that we are. . I really wish I had a clue more often. :D

It's bizarre how low my spirit can go at just the thought that I'm not enough.

Insane for doing this? Maybe.

I am ok.

The 1st went off, then the real one. Now it's 10 after that. I should get moving.