Redacted

It is so easy to want to give up. I am thankful for the two people who went out of their way to encourage me yesterday and today. My heart still feels like it is ripped out of my chest. My eyes water easily. . Holding your breath to compress the sob inside makes one solid cry. . I hate this part. But I will be an adult about things. . Trying isn't everything. . I'm not happy. Maybe. I think I've lost something. It's hard to tell because I can't think straight for the life of me unless it's work or I'm angry. Not a good idea on any day.

All. The. Things. Isn't so bad really. Is it?

I feel like I started to get my life back after all of the cleaning that went on this weekend. I realize I still have a way to go to get rid of a bunch more storage items, but I can begin to breathe, and that's nice actually. . One of the kids laughed and said that the car wash guy was going to be my new bf. Apparently that's the impression the kid had after the kid saw his expression when we drove past.  Made me laugh. It was nice of the kid to point it out. Wish I would have seen it happening. It's nice to feel appreciated to your face occasionally. . My caseworker is sick so no new assessment tomorrow. Now I can do more things! . Mr friend saved me this weekend. Thankful for her in so many ways. . We fixed the broken light today. The raw potato thing doesn't work. And you should never use pliers to grip the side of the fixture insulator. Twisting the metal bulb base out of the fixture is messy! Needle nose pliers are the thing. My Mom said she heard to use vaseline o...