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I suffer from an embarrassment of technology gadgets.  That's pretty shameful in some ways. Reminds me of this... Look at this stuff Isn't it neat? Wouldn't you think my collection's complete? Wouldn't you think I'm the girl The girl who has everything? Look at this trove Treasures untold How many wonders can one cavern hold? Looking around here you think Sure, she's got everything I've got gadgets and gizmos a-plenty I've got whozits and whatzits galore You want thingamabobs? I've got twenty! But who cares? No big deal I want more

"Things" don't do anything. You have to make things work. No excuses.

A little one - on - one time never hurt anybody, and usually it clears things up real fast. My poor kids are a mess. Last night we reached a better understanding about what is going to happen soon. It helped them today through school.   Home life, on the other hand, was way more chaotic.  By the end of the day I had lectured them extensively and given them specific instructions not to follow the other's helpful justification reasons but to only obey my instructions. I had also told one of them I would not believe them because they had lied to me too many times today.   I also prohibited them from talking to each other, they could only talk to me. We had peace at last. :) I think they need more sleep and more personal one-on-one attention this week.

The world as we knew it is gone. So how do we live now? . A person I know told their spouse today that they wanted a divorce. It was their anniversary. What kind of person does such a thing? . What did you give up for Lent? . Pizza tomorrow night with some of my favorite people. . Ever wonder what you would tell people if you knew you were dying and only could write things?  Who would you write? What would you say? Would you decide to tell people things you never were brave enough to share in person, or would you let everyone live on without the burden of knowing the ignorance they carried while you were still here? I wonder who you would tell secrets and with whom you would make things right? What confessions would you make or what encouragement would you leave? Who would find out that you wished you would have said the words "l love you and I always have"? What would you leave as your memory? . The fence on the side of my house is falling down which pulls the gates post too...

How to balance expectations of little normal child behavior with training to obey?

So it's Valentines Day and a full moon. I feel like there should be something witty to be said there, but my brain thinks I should stop trying. . Most people have some kind of thought about this day. I as well. I'm looking forward to spending it with my kids.  We are having family fun night and I don't have to work too hard at being fascinating. Score one for being me. . I always feel a tiny bit guilty during this week because it once again marks the anniversary of the day I ended things with an old friend. Bad timing on my part but it turned out to be extremely freeing. . Wishing I had watched more of the Olympics this week. . I wonder if this will ever change

Honest feedback to one's face is likely one of the hardest things ever to obtain.

Proverbs 22:6 NASB Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it. . Somewhere along the way I think I missed the boat. . I wish I were as calm as I used to think I was. Laughable really. . I was in my own head, and I heard you, but I didn't hear you. Say it again. . Philippians 3:13 NASB Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead,

Proverbs 22:6 NASB Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it. . Somewhere along the way I think I missed the boat. . There are things In my own head I can't even make it right. I was wrong, and there is no way to fix it. It's not something they will ever forget. Let's pray that love covers over a bunch of wrongs! . I wish I were as calm as I used to think I was. Laughable really. . I took this on partially because I was afraid I was never being challenged.  It's good to have some opposition. It makes you grow and reveals both great strengths and all sorts of hidden weaknesses. I may or may not have been crazy for thinking that, but I'm glad I did. I think I may have a truer version of reality. . God help me. .

Today I had lunch with a person I had never met before.  She accidentally poured hot water all over me. My leg feels very pink this evening. . I forgot practice so I was late.  It was fun but I missed having time with my kids.  I was looking forward to having a normal bible story and caramel night.  Maybe Thursday. . One of the work family members died yesterday morning. Cancer sucketh. . Having my arms full of adorable laughing babies this weekend was lovely.  Sigh.  If I didn't have any need to work or any other responsibilities, and I had some help, I think I could enjoy that kind of living.  I know I enjoy volunteering with those ages at the S.  The kids started calling me Mommy on the second day.  The oldest cried when I dropped them off at daycare Monday.  My kids didn't want them to leave either.  I miss them even though this house was full and crazy.  I'm glad my friend will get to see them possibly regularly so I will ...

Honest feelings tonight. My emotions are a bit raw lately, and at the same time somewhat numb with frustration at trying to make decisions that make me second guess everything. It's overwhelming. Nobody should ever have to prepare a child for the possibility that they may never get to go home to live again. . Honesty. That would be nice.  . I feel sorry for these parents. They need Jesus. .

Being good at something doesn't always make it worth your time and energy. . If you are often miserable doing something that is good, does it necessarily mean it is not your calling? . If I weren't tired would my mind not explode? . These are the deep questions. . One of my kids threatened to run away to their mom in the middle of the night.  Sigh.  Oh yippee.

How can I be so torn between praying for someone to succeed and yet selfishly wanting them to fail at the same time? Two very good reasons, and they are mine.

"Christ is love embodied and no matter where we are, He and His body are Home." - Ann Voskamp

A friend quoted tonight a thought that there is no such thing as "blind faith" because God always gives us reasons to believe and trust Him. I think they are right. Knowing this, how can it sometimes still be so scary?

Whoever they are, they must be something wonderful.  . I have this nail polish that sparkles and reminds me of the depths of a million stars. . There was a woman crying in her car today. The kids both reminded me to pray for her this evening. She never sent the text to tell me she was okay. . God provides. Another reminder today on a church sign. I pray that I don't forget. . Where does anger come from? That was the question today.

The LORD provides. That's enough to make my heart sing. . Promise given. Promise received. Past history gives proof. No doubt of His goodness, and He is so good to me.

The last hour. One more chance. . I was going to have lunch out with my boss tomorrow but instead my lunch will be attending a funeral. . No thing. I'm sorry to have bothered you today. . I feel as though I should be old, but I'm not, even if I do need sleep more often. . This training is wearing me out. I'm glad we keep busy otherwise the sleeping would be hard to explain. :) . It's been a great year. I've learned a lot, given up on some things and some people, focused on other things and really wished I could be wiser. I don't think I grew as much as I should have, but I'll leave that up to God's grace.   Love you all.  Good night.  Shalom.

I'm starving for real food. I'm too tired to think about moving. There was way too much birthday cake in my day. My boys bought me candles for my cake. They say "80".  Maybe it's time for that retirement party. . Good times seeing an old friend tonight. I haven't seen or heard from him in ages, but it was a good chance to meet again. May God bless him and his ministry. . I wanted this day to be over before it began. I think the kids may finally be sleeping. They got scared somehow so it took a bit longer. . I'm blessed. I see that much more clearly today. . Trust Surrendered Up. Someday, if we ever get past the pain we have inflicted on each other from our own insecurities, I think we will look each other in the eye, sigh with relief, and smile. . I wish. :) (the stuff of birthdays)

All I can say is, "Thank God for frozen Little Debbie Cocoa Creme Cakes." Girl had some chocolate cake cravings. . Today I visited with a family whose dad/grandpa was dead in all but name only. My dad and I went up to the hospital to pray with him before he passed, but I'm not sure he even heard us, or was even there.  Like my dad said, "I wish we had had that conversation months ago." It is painful not knowing. . If it's important, say it.   That's what I've been reminded of today. . I love you is only one thing important enough to say, I forgive is another. I don't understand but help me know. I'm sorry. Yes and No to the right demands will help everyone along the road.