Redacted

And I'm tired.

... sat in a room with a bunch of people all connected through bad decision making, and was told it was unusual that we all got along and liked each other and worked together.  I just assumed that was how it was supposed to be!  LOL.  I am too surprised at humanity it seems. . ... watched as a woman declared her intentions to voluntarily walk away from the best things she has ever accomplished, and will ever help create.  I feel nothing but sorrow and pity for her, and for what she could have been, if only.  And therein the phrase, "there but for the grace of God, go I" becomes even more of a reality.  OH! How different my life could have been! . ... am in some ways scared that the future holds BIG things that I can't hold, yet Knowing God is in control. . ...realize that I may have to fight for what God wants to give me, because even the Israelites had to fight to conquer the Promised Land. . ...held up my pants with a safety pin. . ...talked. and talked. ...

Lead balloons know better than to fly. . Wednesday night leaves me feeling ill inside.

Fear is bad. or it could be good. But mostly lately it's been bad. But it's driven me right back to where God is and where I want to be. Trusting Him that things will work out that God is big enough that I'm loved enough to love even those who hurt me that even as if a slave like Nehemiah, I must serve and support and protect those in authority over me. Because God is love And He loves me I am loved. and because of that, I am free