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It is hard to relax when you are afraid your kids might stress people out.

It just doesn't seem possible that less than 5 minutes can change your life, but it did. And it is. God be praised.

In more ways than one

What I can't decide is whether it was to protect or prevent, and even then it boggles the mind to decide who or why.  Flattery or offense? :) things my mind ponders on late nights . On the other hand, I must learn to not make eye contact with strange men.  Wandering eyes make me uncomfortable.  This is true not just because of the whole cheating thing, but as they don't know me at all, it makes me feel so much like an object.  Sigh. Self?  Remember this. Remember this. It's quite disturbing to realize that you are the object of a stranger's lustful imaginings. Not flattering in the least. There is a vast difference in attraction and lascivious looks. . I seem to be going about normal life backwards.  Now that the kids will be staying permanently, both my grandmother and my kids are giving me advice.  I told them they could pray.  It's a bit backwards from the usual way of things. .

Today I got serenaded by some random guy at the kidwishes place.  I stepped outside to make a phone call and he was sitting there in his car with the country music blaring...girl you make me want to roll my window down and cruise.   Next thing I know he's singing at me.  Oy.

Tonight was a crying time. Too bad really happy moments are being caused by really painful things.

When that little baby snuggles up to me it breaks my heart that I have to let him go.

A little one - on - one time never hurt anybody, and usually it clears things up real fast. My poor kids are a mess. Last night we reached a better understanding about what is going to happen soon. It helped them today through school.   Home life, on the other hand, was way more chaotic.  By the end of the day I had lectured them extensively and given them specific instructions not to follow the other's helpful justification reasons but to only obey my instructions. I had also told one of them I would not believe them because they had lied to me too many times today.   I also prohibited them from talking to each other, they could only talk to me. We had peace at last. :) I think they need more sleep and more personal one-on-one attention this week.