Redacted

I think I might have died from lack of breathing.

Its funny how you can make someone your almost enemy by simply being interesting.  . Crazy thing.  Provision can mean a lot of things. . There is a chance, a real chance, that this is as close to the best life has ever been. I'm happy. Very happy. God has blessed in so many ways. . Very thankful my mom had good news and is in good shape recovering from surgery. Praying her pain goes away quickly! Thankful also for prayers of friends and family. Extremely thankful for our God who hears and answers those prayers with healing! . Being right.  :D . I know the spying goes on, I still find it creepy. . Pondering Dirt. Again. Today. . My kids requested these songs before bed the other evening. Bruno Mars: When I Was Your Man . Building 429: We Won't Be Shaken

So much truth is muddled by what we fear.

Ugh. I spent the majority of my evening cleaning house because tomorrow the new counselor is coming to see everyone.  I started out just to do a quick clean but then I got disturbed by the amount of dirty I was finding, particularly in that bathroom the kids use, and it turned into more of a marathon muttering "disgusting" cleaning. . I marched the kids straight to bed without their normal routine this evening after the 2nd time they hurt each other in 5 min. Their teeth may rot out because I didn't stop the marching for cleaning.  There may have been crying involved once I left the room, but I had no sympathy. . It's a good thing my friend reminded me she thinks I am not cut out for this for always. . I was astonished to notice that almost all of my neighbor's trees in her backyard disappeared while I was gone today. It made me nervous that it was done by the city and they had taken mine too. One of my kids ran to see.  I still have mine so far at least! . My par...

Oh dear God, I want to do good. I really do. Love Me

My brain won't shut off again. It's reached the stage of fevered delusional wanderings.  From how to right the wrongs to how others helped me to wishful thinking to frustrated despair that I'll ever sleep. My eyes burn heavy. And blink. Find the next thing to occupy the mind. Sleep.

Just an f.y.i PSA:  if you are sick with a cold and training someone, it is better for you to sit at the computer and control the mouse and the keyboard than to stand over the trainee breathing on them all morning.  The keyboard and mouse can be sanitized later, it's slightly difficult for your victim to secretly wear a face mask. On another note, it's extremely difficult to focus while not breathing.  ; D