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Friends stand by one another and don't hide or run away when the other person needs them. The problem is in knowing when or where the true needs begins.

:) it's not every day you get a personal invitation to try out for the new roller derby team. I'm fairly excited just to be picked out of a crowd at the amateur ice skating rink downtown even if it was for recruitment purposes.

If I could spin a tale of fantasies and dreams, I'd include you in it for all those memories. Those secret smiles and gentle glances, all savored to the max. I'd while away the hours making all the moments last. I'd allow no ending so terrible yet sweet, remembering you when it was Between us Harmony I somehow couldn't keep.

of how this was going to end, tonight felt a bit like I ripped the heart out of my chest and used it to swab the love of Jesus on them.

It's dangerous to eat crumbly chocolate chip cookies on the way to work. Chocolate is melty.

I think if we could choose when to end our life, I think I'd choose tonight.  It's as good a time as any right?  I don't mean to cause a panic or a get a rise out of those few of you who read this, I just think it would be nice for it (life) to be over so I could get on with the good stuff.  But who am I to question God? Nobody.  (I'm suddenly stricken by remorse for feeling such discontentment with what the Lord has given me.  Nothing but blessings have I received and yet...) Don't get me wrong.  I don't want to die.  I'm not waiting for a way to safely end my time alive. It's  just something jumbled that's got me sideways inside.  Too much stuff in the stir crazy breakneck pace that is my life.  Sigh.  I should count my blessings.  I have more than enough.

The asinine remarks that come out of my mouth sometimes. . Had fun today with various friends and family. . Glad the boys went right to bed.

Crank up the music drown out my head.

I'm not brave. I'll never be. - Guess who just spent the last hour and a half sitting in the car inside the garage practicing a song because the boys were sleeping?  Yeah. Me. This girl right here. Crazy :D - Vulnerability. I'm not good at placing myself in any place of vulnerability. I'll even lie to protect my self image. Not that I want to, but after all, who comes clean immediately after saying something patently stupid that leaves you flustered and red in the face? Why wouldn't you continue to look like an idiot? Sigh. Which is why it's embarrassing and annoying when it happens to me. - I wish I could come clean about some past things that bother me without feeling like an idiot. But then I wonder what difference would it make because it isn't impacting anyone else at all apparently.  Just like the other day I was talking to someone and they didn't even remember the event happening. :) silly me. Now they will. Not sure how many more of my guts I wan...