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It feels wonderful to have a job again. I'm looking forward to this week and then VACATION!

It's those moments that really touch us, those that change our lives forever, that we must really listen to with our hearts.

God help the person who has to sort through all my various journals after I am gone.  No order!

it's scary to be new.  God help me. ` The stress of the last two years has been horrendous.  Not fun remembering.  But! God is with me!  He HAS been with me. And He WILL go before me.  He has prepared this moment and these circumstances for His glory, for His plan.  His ways are higher than my ways.  His thoughts are bigger than mine.  How great is His glory and how wonderful His provision.  He is before me and has brought me this far.  He will prepare a table for me in the presence of mine enemies!  He approves of me.  His smile is upon me, and it's a great thing. ` I know I can do this.

When you aren't willing to commit to anything more than the bare minimum, it really leaves you lacking in my esteem.

A one sided war is waged on a regular basis. . I don't think any more. It's great not to have that hanging around my neck like death waiting. . It's strange knowing that I won't be getting up in the morning to go to work. I don't like it. It's very strange and discombobulating. You would think I would take advantage of all this extra time to tackle big projects. What I am finding is that it is hard to do normal things when you don't have a normal day so you just end up bumbling through. . Some days I feel like I am getting better at this parenting thing. The other days I do a lot of mental screaming. . I love my boys. I really do. I just hope I'm not ruining them. . I have court Thursday. . Don't ever let your kids know you didn't want them. . Why do people insist on relationships with unsuitable people? . A person apologized to me this weekend for calling and complaining about their treatment at the hands of someone else. They still feel that hu...

I bought myself a new quilt today.  It's nothing special or fancy, but it was soft and comfy and perfect for traveling.  Plus it was celebratory! :D (I'm lying, I just wanted the thing.)  Quilts make me happy.  Other than books and shoes it is one of the things I almost always stare longingly at the most whenever I see them in an advertisement or in real life.  It doesn't matter that I already have more quilts than a person can normally use in a lifetime, I still love them.  My favorites are typically soft cotton summer weight quilts that have lots of stitching.  Most of mine have memories attached so I almost hate to use them, but the best part of a quilt's life is right toward the end when they've been washed a thousand times and the cotton fabric is super thin and just wraps around you like your favorite shirt or jeans.  Comforting! I thank God for today.

You haven't lived until you have been surreptitiously scoped out by an entire table of older society ladies gathered for their book club.  Just saying.

I don't think I can take another group of people becoming disillusioned. Seeming too good may be a curse in itself, for all the times you end up failing are worse in your own self recrimination. God help me. 

One mind. One heart. New direction.

But I can't breathe. ◇ Today has been busy with getting ready for camp packing tomorrow. There is a huge stack of things already lined up in the gym. I have a huge list still to complete in the morning. I'm glad I started this stuff early. ◇ Clarence fell again today. My dad found him in his backyard after he had been on the ground about 12 hours. It's really scary because he forgot he had the med bracelet on and could call for help, so he just lay there all day in the sun. He has fallen a lot lately. It makes us worried he won't be with us for too long. ◇ I'm glad the boys are off at camp, but I miss them.

I keep forgetting. How can I forget that?!

one day down this week. the list goes on. counting down the "things to do" before the week is done. ` Next week is camp.  I can't quite believe it that the summer is almost half over.  Next month school starts at the first of the month. ` On the last day of this month I will have had the boys for one year. ` I wish I would learn to say "no".  I have crammed way too many things to do into this tiny week. ` I have tickets to a concert on Saturday.  I am really hoping and praying that I can participate in the event and have everything ready for going on the trip on Sunday. ` I will miss you this year.  A fact that leaves me feeling quite alone. ` Every year there are new memories.  I remember them every one.  And I smile with the warmth that comes with them when I think of the time spent as friends. ` Praising God for His continued grace and forgiveness and mercy this evening. I love you all.  Shalom. Thanks for reading.

Do you remember when our friend looked at you and I sitting side by side? They looked at you, then I, then you again, and smiled like they knew something we were missing.