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I may die. This stomach virus is killing me.

Some things are better left memories.

I don't think it's the answer to everything, but "why not?" is intriguing... I've had several unexpected God appointments lately.  Yesterday afternoon I went to lunch with my trainer, which rarely happens. We decided to go eat at a particular restaurant north of our location and she drove. After we ordered, and while waiting for our food, we switched tables because the first one was back in a very cold corner. Upon arriving at our new location, a lady across the aisle waved to get our attention. It turned out to be an old friend of my trainer.  During the introduction, my instructor introduced me as a Christian to this complete stranger. I found this to be intriguing. But, moving on. Turns out the lady was waiting on her grandson to meet her for lunch, he was missing, and she had forgotten her phone. We chatted for a couple of seconds and then she left to drive home. A few seconds later she came back and asked if she could take our offer of loaning a phone to call...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLj2tZCs6Ms&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Bad, bad, bad, bad decision to drink that frozen Mt Dew thing before bedtime!

I have a box of Russell Stover chocolates in my house that I am slowly working my way through.  Tonight it is the Roman Nougats.  First the dark chocolate, now the milk.  I've decided that all of the candies taste pretty much identical, but that the texture makes the difference.  The aftertaste always reminds me of maraschino cherry syrup. . One of my kids got their seat taken away at school today.  I learned last night at P/T conference that they have been squatting in their chair and that the teacher had given up the fight.  I emailed her today to take the chair away because I thought it was their way of getting away with a little bit of defiance all day long. Tonight in bedtime prayers..."help me to remember to sit on my bottom tomorrow." . Setting things in motion to help the littles survive the aftermath of their parents' bad life decisions.  Sucks to think that we have to go through this and that there is no way to prevent it from hurting.  ...

I think the sleepiness just spiked past the insanity level.  Must. go. to. sleep. NOW.

A friend quoted tonight a thought that there is no such thing as "blind faith" because God always gives us reasons to believe and trust Him. I think they are right. Knowing this, how can it sometimes still be so scary?

What makes everything OK?

If her heart was free, would you break yours trying to reach it?  Would you risk stepping into the breech between the unknown and the almost perfect?

Whoever they are, they must be something wonderful.  . I have this nail polish that sparkles and reminds me of the depths of a million stars. . There was a woman crying in her car today. The kids both reminded me to pray for her this evening. She never sent the text to tell me she was okay. . God provides. Another reminder today on a church sign. I pray that I don't forget. . Where does anger come from? That was the question today.

The day started and ended with cleaning up vomit. It still stinks in that part of the house. Ewwwh. But between was a lovely bit of magic with one of my very best friends.  :) It was a good day.

If I were a small child I would be pulling on my ears and crying.  That in turn would then explode my headache into another full on migraine.  Not feeling so good today. . My tax deadline is progressing very well so far.  Praying the rest passes quickly. . I just found a peanut in my purse. . Life is interesting today.

I went to the fair. I rode a ride. Hours later I still feel sick and vomit-y. Ugh. Never ever again.

The LORD provides. That's enough to make my heart sing. . Promise given. Promise received. Past history gives proof. No doubt of His goodness, and He is so good to me.

. Sigh.  No matter what some of you will likely interpret these songs to mean, it really just means I've been stuck on the Dara Maclean Youtube play list lately.  I've enjoyed listening to Jason Eskridge on the background vocals.  .

Love's words are a weightier lash against the soul than any other.

This song has been stuck in my head for hours this evening. Dara Maclean - Wanted

The last hour. One more chance. . I was going to have lunch out with my boss tomorrow but instead my lunch will be attending a funeral. . No thing. I'm sorry to have bothered you today. . I feel as though I should be old, but I'm not, even if I do need sleep more often. . This training is wearing me out. I'm glad we keep busy otherwise the sleeping would be hard to explain. :) . It's been a great year. I've learned a lot, given up on some things and some people, focused on other things and really wished I could be wiser. I don't think I grew as much as I should have, but I'll leave that up to God's grace.   Love you all.  Good night.  Shalom.

Fear is contagious. It's all in our heads, but once someone gets it, we all have it.

I'm starving for real food. I'm too tired to think about moving. There was way too much birthday cake in my day. My boys bought me candles for my cake. They say "80".  Maybe it's time for that retirement party. . Good times seeing an old friend tonight. I haven't seen or heard from him in ages, but it was a good chance to meet again. May God bless him and his ministry. . I wanted this day to be over before it began. I think the kids may finally be sleeping. They got scared somehow so it took a bit longer. . I'm blessed. I see that much more clearly today. . Trust Surrendered Up. Someday, if we ever get past the pain we have inflicted on each other from our own insecurities, I think we will look each other in the eye, sigh with relief, and smile. . I wish. :) (the stuff of birthdays)

I wrote something a month ago and now it is missing. 

Proverbs 28:1 NIV The wicked flee though no one pursues, but the righteous are as bold as a lion.

How does God ever just not crush us?

Too intent on the next thing To see what is right in front of me.

Our realities will never be the same, and I have only one regret, that you can't know what I see, and I can't think inside your head.

How do you treat someone who has no grace for other people but expects it from everyone else?  It is a quandary that has long puzzled me. . What do you do when fear, anger or frustration stops you from unconditional acceptance and begins judging? . Can you accept others if you do not have a base of acceptance to fall back upon? . Is it possible to be loved?  To be loving? . In my experience it isn't enough to have head knowledge that God loves you, you must also have the human representation that you are loved and accepted as you are by at least one person, hopefully more. . You gain confidence by loving and being loved in return.  Consistently. . What if everything you say is taken to mean something personally demeaning?  What turns a person into someone in whom paranoia reigns?  I worked with some of these individuals until just recently.  It was unnerving to say the least.  It was downright despicable and immoral at the most.  Wrong is wrong is...

Today is my trainer's birthday.   Mine is Friday.  :D We are having coffee to celebrate. . I have to be honest. I always expect amazing magical things to happen for my birthday. . My trainer said I had made her birthday the best it had been in a long time.  That's fairly sad because all I did was buy her coffee and a card and leave her a funny picture on her computer.  :D  Maybe it's just God's grace flowing through me.  :D  We had fun today.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lyk1xpt_5Y&feature=youtube_gdata_player

You poor woman standing there in the corner of the elevator, you there, you look so worn. When did you decide to stop taking care of yourself or dressing with pride as a female?  Why can we now see every lack of care shoved so wildly on your being, your face aged beyond recognition, your neglected hair unwashed. Your nervous lingering near that man who watches me then stares at my feet waiting for a move. Your instinct is good. I'd be nervous too with a man who looked at someone else like that while standing by you.  Was there just too much pain or was it more a way of life or did it just slide? I pity you, but not because of where you are, but because of the way you have been.

Where along the way did we stop trying? When did we become the mess that is our current selves?Truthfully I'd encourage you to take this step and meld some healing back where it belongs.  Be well. I have to laugh at us for our lack of saying anything but to ourselves.

All I can say is, "Thank God for frozen Little Debbie Cocoa Creme Cakes." Girl had some chocolate cake cravings. . Today I visited with a family whose dad/grandpa was dead in all but name only. My dad and I went up to the hospital to pray with him before he passed, but I'm not sure he even heard us, or was even there.  Like my dad said, "I wish we had had that conversation months ago." It is painful not knowing. . If it's important, say it.   That's what I've been reminded of today. . I love you is only one thing important enough to say, I forgive is another. I don't understand but help me know. I'm sorry. Yes and No to the right demands will help everyone along the road.